You're Probably Wondering Why I Called You Here...
by Mouse
Myrtle slicked back her hair with water from her toilet and looked at her reflection critically. Almost right.... She used a bit of slime from the pipes to hold the mass in place. There. Now her shapeless, wavy hair was tamed, and Bella wouldn't call her those awful names anymore.
Of course, she did have pipe slime in her hair, but at least her frizzies were tamed.
The table was set, and she checked over the hors d'oeuvres: Crab-Stuffed Mushroom-Head Caps, Spankopita, Sausage Balls In Chutney Sauce, Hot Artichoke Dick with Melba Rounds, Caramelized Brie with crackers and apple slices, and Combination Vegetable Display (cucumbers and carrots) with Curry Dip. The Brie was pushing it, as it didn't really follow the Order's "guidelines," but it was the best she could do.
She fussed a bit more with her hair until the door banged open and Narcissa swept in regally. "So, now that I've arrived, let's get going on this meeting," she said, seating herself at the head of the table. She ticked off points on her manicured hand.
"Um... 'Cissa?"
"Yes, yes, do your secretarial thing later. I must start the meeting now. Item One, The Totally Superfluous Naming of Order President. I elect me. Item Two--"
"'Cissa?"
"-- The Decision on the Fashion Trend for the next week. I choose... whatever it is I'm wearing. Item Three--"
"'Cissa!"
"What is it, Miss Secretary?" Narcissa finally opened her eyes to, but only to glare at Myrtle.
"Nobody else is here yet."
"What?" Narcissa looked around the table. "This meeting was scheduled to start ten minutes ago."
"By you."
Myrtle checked her see-through clipboard, with its see-through paper, tapping it with her see-through pen. "Bella scheduled it for half an hour ago, and Ginny to start in five minutes from now."
"What?" Narcissa said again, looking outraged. "Who do they think they are? I should--"
"Sit down like a good girl and shut your lipsticked mouth," said Bella, plunking down into the chair at the other end of the table. The other head of the table, if you will.
"Thank you for gracing us with your presence, Lestrange."
"Not to worry, dear. Of course I came. I called the meeting, didn't I?"
"I beg your pardon? I call-"
Myrtle had to do something. They'd end up fighting again, and then the meeting minutes would read like wrestling commentary. She scooped up a dish from the table (thanking the Head Counselor once again for letting her have a wand, even if it only did a few things) and floated it to the center of the catfigh-- table.
"Hot dick?"
Both heads turned to look at her. She backed away slowly, retreating into the "Secretary's Cubicle" and down her toilet.
Eventually they ended up playing Pictionary, as Ginny never did show up with Boggle. Three rounds in, Bella accused Narcissa of charming the cards so that her 'team' would have the hard ones.
"How the hell do you draw 'dignity'? It's not possible," Bella groused. Myrtle shrugged. She thought that Bella's drawing was kind of like 'prostration,' or 'despondently.'
"Don't be a sore loser. Give me that quill. Myrtle, eyes front."
"Yes ma'am-- um, miss."
Narcissa drew a card, then sketched frantically. A moment later, Myrtle squinted her eyes, and ventured, "A duck?"
"Yes! We win!" Narcissa jumped up, almost slipping on the broken dish of Crab-Stuffed Mushroom-Head Caps, and pirouetted.
"Let me see that card!" Bella screeched. "There's no way on this earth that's a duck."
"No! My card!" Narcissa yelped, and darted to the other side of the large sink.
"You get back here, you prissy sissy pants!"
Myrtle looked at the women shrieking and chasing each other around the sinks, Bella with dried brie in her hair, Narcissa's robe spattered with curry dip, and sighed.
Just another meeting of the Order of the Serpents.
Characters, settings, and concepts from Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. No profit is made from these stories, and no copyright infringement is intended. The stories themselves, as well as original characters, settings, and concepts, are copyrighted by their resective creators. Artwork © Snaples. Home | Cast | Stories | Submissions | Group
